Writing the Perfect Obituary

As you likely know, writing an obituary is a vital part of a funeral service. For some people, it’s where they might learn of someone’s passing. For others, it provides information about an upcoming service. If you’ve been tasked with writing an obituary for your loved one, you’ve come to the right place. Throughout this blog, we’ll break down the five parts that make up an obituary and offer a few obituary examples as inspiration.

Your Guide to Writing an Obituary

Writing an obituary can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. If you find yourself wondering how to write an obituary for your loved one, break the writing up into different parts.

Death Announcement

Most people choose to begin an obituary with the announcement of death. When you’re notifying the community of your loved one’s death, use language you feel comfortable with. It’s completely normal for some people to feel that saying “died” is too blunt. At the same time, others feel that using language like “passed away”, “left us”, or “ended a long battle with…” can be too vague or tiptoe around what has happened. Whatever the case, talk to your family members and come to a consensus on how to make the announcement.

The Biography

The largest part of an obituary is the biographical section. This is often the most personal part of writing an obituary. Within this section, you will summarize the deceased’s life and highlight meaningful qualities, events, and contributions they made while alive.

It’s important to remember that an obituary is supposed to be an announcement and brief biography of the deceased. Don’t feel the need to recount every detail of their life. Also try to avoid bragging about every accomplishment or award the deceased received. Unless it was a significant achievement, keep the biographical section of the obituary focused more on the qualities of the deceased and the relationships they shared with others. A common thing that many obituaries lack is personal connections the deceased shared. If you want to write a truly meaningful obituary, talk about the impact they had on others. Examples of this could be language like “… he always made time to help his kids with their homework” or “her energy could light up a room”.

Those They Leave Behind

When you are announcing the death of a loved one, make sure to mention their surviving family members. These are the people who others can turn to offer condolences and assistance during such a difficult time. When you list the survivors, make sure that you list them in order of closest relation to the deceased: spouse, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, parents, and siblings.

When you are listing a relative, make sure to include their first name, their spouse’s first name in brackets and then their last name. It should look something like this:

“Tony leaves behind his children Stuart (Dianne) Smith, Jody (Mark) Powell, and Katherine (Nick) Harroway.”

In most cases, obituaries do not include the names or nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, or in-laws unless they were close to the deceased. Grandchildren are sometimes listed but often numbered instead (…he leaves behind 5 grandchildren).

Information About the Service

Towards the bottom of the obituary, make sure that you include important information about the upcoming service. In most cases, the funeral director will add this to the obituary once the details have been confirmed. The essential information to include is time, date of service, location and the officiant’s name. If you are planning a visitation separate from the service, make sure to note the time, date, and location as well.

Special Messages

Some people like to close an obituary with a special message. This could be something as simple as a prayer or special thanks. If your family wishes to forego people sending flowers in lieu of donations to a charitable cause, this is often where it is requested.

Obituary Examples

Writing an obituary doesn’t have to be difficult. Even with the template above, it can be beneficial to see how others have written obituaries for their loved ones. Below is a selection of well-written obituary examples.

Tony Smith

Tony Smith, 63, of Albany, NY sadly passed away on December 29, 2018 after a lengthy battle with ALS. Tony was born to Tony Sr. and Margot Smith on April 22, 1955. After attending New Castle High School, Mr. Smith went on to serve as an apprentice mechanic before opening his own shop in 1978.

His family will remember him as a man’s man. He was the type of person who would choose to repair something over buying a new one. He valued hard work, honesty, and the value of a man’s word. To his children, he was loving but fair. He made sure to instill his values on them as well as the importance of their education. To his wife, he was loving and caring. He made it a priority to keep the romance alive, and continued their weekly tradition of Saturday date night long into his fight with ALS.

Mr. Smith is a survived by his loving wife of 41 years, Shelby as well as his children Stuart (Dianne) Smith, Jody (Mark) Powell, and Katherine (Nick) Harroway; and 5 grandchildren.

Please join us celebrating his life Saturday morning January 5, 2019, between 10:00 a.m. - 12 noon at Truesdell Funeral Home, 123, Any Street, Albany, NY. In Lieu of flowers the family asks that you check the air in your tires, the belts and all the spark plug wires – just as he would have, anytime his children came to visit.

Susan Matthews

Susan Matthews, age 78 passed away peacefully in her sleep on August 18, 2014. She was born March 21, 1936 in Westchester, NY to her loving parents Christopher and Anne Johnston. Susan attended Crescent Heights High School before becoming a nurse.

Susan loved to love people. Her hands were rarely still as she was always sewing or knitting something in free time. She also shared her love of food with her children and grandchildren. Whether it was fresh cut fries, fried chicken, or Friday night pizza, Susan always looked forward to cooking for the ones she loved.

For many years, Susan worked as a nurse at a local retirement home. She was driven by a passion to help others and believed the world could always use one more kind-hearted person. Her life was a living example of her favorite Bible verse, Ephesians 4:32 - " And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ."

Susan is survived by her husband Auston, her three sons and their families; Auston (Jessica), Mitchell (Christina), and Johnathon (Alexandra) as well as 7 grandchildren, a 1 great grandchild.

All of those she loved and touched deeply. Please join us celebrating her life Saturday morning August 22, 2014, between 10:00 a.m. - 12 noon at Westchester Funeral Home, 190 Main St. Eastchester. In Lieu of flowers, donations may be made to help wounded veterans at woundedwarriorproject.org.